


Reason

by SoraMJigen



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Anal Sex, Boys Kissing, Developing Relationship, First Time, Gym Sex, Locker Room, Lust, M/M, Puberty, Public Sex, Relationship(s), Romance, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexy Times, Smut, Sweet/Hot, Teen Romance, Work In Progress, Yaoi, like a virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-06 19:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3145724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoraMJigen/pseuds/SoraMJigen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So many questions, so little time. Why? Why did he do it? Why did he cause him such pleasure in such a few moments that seemed to last a lifetime? How did he do it? DoumekixWatanuki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start of Reason

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first xxxHolic fic. The anime and manga are fantastic. Nonetheless, this is a YAOI. So if no one likes YAOI please leave the room...
> 
> ...
> 
> All gone?
> 
> Okay, then. Enjoy 
> 
> Watanuki and Doumeki belong to CLAMP  
> Utada Hikaru belongs to herself

There she was, the most beautiful girl in all of Japan walking with someone like Watanuki. She was the greatest thing ever to happen to him let alone the definition of love and perfection in his eyes. She was Himawari, the girl who had unknowingly stole Watanuki's young heart. Her hair was in the usual curly pigtails that a good amount of the female student body adored (not to mention the men but most importantly Watanuki) and her eyes seemed to glimmer every time the sunshine reflected off of them. They were two mystical orbs of a forgotten ocean that no one knew about but acknowledged all the same. Her lips were like two thin slices of strawberries that made every man's heart jump ten feet in the air only to fall back down to Earth in swirling vortexes of adornment.

And then there was Watanuki; sweet, clumsy, not perfect Watanuki. His ebony hair was kept in its' usual casual style as he attempted to hide the blush that was slowly gaining on his boyish face. From time to time, he had the image of simply leaning over and caressing her cheek gently and wanting to ask her out on a date but Kami knew that would never happen. Kami knew it like the back of his holy hand that Watanuki would never get the guts to ask her out. He was too clumsy and even so he'd chicken out at the last minute of asking. Another image popped up, again, another action he'd NEVER do. He'd appear to her one morning and give her a bouquet of cherry blossoms and ume flowers with a few lotus blossoms thrown in there. Yet again, he'd never do it. Why? No guts, no glory.

Nonetheless, Watanuki adored the walking beauty besides him as they socialized about everything from school to even music as Himawari surprised him with the fact that she enjoyed Utada Hikaru. Utada, Utada, Utada- Watanuki had heard some of her music and found that they were good as a smile broadened into a grin on his face. Yes! Another thing in common! Score another one for Watanuki!

Both wore their school uniforms despite the early warmth of spring that had floated in the atmosphere. They both agreed that spring was a lovely season as Himawari took the moment to steal the scent of distant cherry blossoms that floated in the air. They were so beautiful as she smiled to herself. She was content and so was Watanuki as he merely thought of her in a cherry blossom field. Sure the flowers were beautiful but nothing compared to her.

'They're not as beautiful as you, Himawari,' Watanuki thought to himself as he listened to his friend socialize on about numerous things. Internally, he sighed to himself. Now if only he had to guts to actually say what he felt for her to her. However, there was either that damn Doumeki or something interrupting them. Speaking of which, they had finished their walk; Himawari only walked with Watanuki to the shop. As much as he would of invited her in they both acknowledged that she had to resume her studies at home to which she bowed to him and left Watanuki standing at the wall.

The wall. The wall that separated the norm from the fantasy, the ordinary from the strange, and the average from the questionable wonders of the world that lied behind the wall. Watanuki, Yuuko, and others knew about this mystery world where all seemed so normal before looking deep into the world and seeing more than met the eye. Watanuki had seen demons, a weird black creature named Mokona, phantom birds, and so many other things his head began to spin. He could only imagine what else lied within the strange shop that he had worked in as for a moment he leaned against the wall.

The thoughts that spun like a rapid carousel in his brain began to take hold of him; Himawari, schoolwork, the unusual nature of the shop, the few who maintained the shop, what lied within the shop itself, and how the things even got there were marked as eternal mysteries to Watanuki. He was new to the job even though time seemed to fly between the errands and cooking but nonetheless, his mind had finally seemed to take the heat of it all in that moment. Deep breaths, take deep breaths- it was all he could do really as he began to do so as the thoughts slowly began to dissipate. This was good. This was very good. Everything would just go back to normal and life would resume, the heat would be gone and- Watanuki felt his heart rate sky rocket like a NASA space shuttle as he felt a presence looming over him. His head shot straight up as before he knew it, he met eye to eye with the one person he really hated to see at the moment.

"Gah! What are you doing here," Watanuki spazzed as he eyed his frienemy who stuck to his usual stoic self.

"Nothing. I was just walking by when I saw you against the wall," Doumeki paused to observe the classmate before him as though he were a subtle lion eyeing his prey. "are you okay or something?"

"Yeah! Just fine! Why would you care any-," the spazzy Watanuki found himself pinned to the wall as his eyes instantly met Doumeki's behind the glasses. By now Doumeki had grown a slight smirk, something that Watanuki saw very rarely despite the fact that he attempted to avoid Doumeki 24/7, but somehow the young archer always found his way into Watanuki's view. The thoughts started to churn again as the pressure began to build within Watanuki as he found himself swallowing hard. Both at the thoughts and how Doumeki's hands pressed into his forearms; it was rough and aggressive but there was a faint gentleness in his eyes. What was this? Was Doumeki drunk or something? No, no, Doumeki wasn't like that...or was there more to the emotionless facade? The reasons swirled as to what could cause Doumeki to act this way as he could sense this. Nonetheless, only Doumeki knew his reason as he allowed a subtle yet audible snicker to be heard in his throat. Watanuki swallowed harder as he writhed in an attempt to get away from his classmate. This wasn't like him, something was wrong, and nothing of the supernatural thought of possession came to Watanuki's head. Besides, what would the supernatural want with a boy who couldn't see it? Then again mortals were usually the targets of things that went bump in the night.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing!? If this is some kind of sick game you're playing then you are-"

"Ssh," Doumeki's voice was like the charm of a cobra as it lured Watanuki into a slightly calmer state. The thoughts seemed to slip and the cure of deep breaths seemed distant as a faint blush came across Watanuki's cheeks. What was this? Watanuki liked girls! Not guys! So what the Hell was up with him acting like this!? Himawari, the sweet beautiful girl of his dreams came into his mind and then came Doumeki. The man he despised yet he was also the man who Himawari dubbed as his brother. Maybe there was more to this...maybe- no! Himawari was the only girl for him and- the thoughts stopped. Himawari slowly began to fade from Watanuki's mind as Doumeki pressed his lips to Watanuki's.

A warmth seemed to flow throughout the teenager's body. It was a warmth like no other as it caused his heart to pound madly, the very sound causing everything to seem insignificant in that moment. Watanuki felt his body drowning in this sensual feeling as he could only respond with the first thing that came to his mind as his lips pressed back to Doumeki's. Smirking against his lips, Doumeki deepened the kiss as his body instinctively pressed closer to Watanuki's. This warmth, this rush of blood and hormones roamed throughout their bodies- they wanted it, they needed it; it was something that they craved like an instinctive urge given at birth only to develop overtime into something that needed to be satisfied.

It was madness as once again Watanuki's mind became a vortex of swirling desires and an insatiable hunger that needed to be fed. He felt guilty as Hell for thinking these things when he should of been thinking of Himawari and kissing her instead of Doumeki but something about this felt so right. He allowed Doumeki's tongue to slip inside and caress his own tongue which caused Watanuki to turn a deep rose red. This was nuts. This was insane to be more precise as Watanuki responded by pressing his tongue to his', completely unsure of how to do this. Sure, he had seen the movies, read some of the books (for school) but Watanuki never knew how to be romantic physically. Nonetheless, he attempted to do what he could as he too deepened the kiss which caused Doumeki to chuckle lightly before pulling back.

He laughed even harder as soon as he saw Watanuki's blush which caused the red shade across his cheeks to deepen.

Doumeki grinned like the Cheshire Cat which caused Watanuki's heart to tense and almost stop beating if not for the fact that he was still breathing. His breathing quickened as if he were running from demons as his eyes never left Doumeki. Where in the world did that come from and why now and why to Watanuki!? So many questions, so little time- time seemed to quicken as Doumeki returned to Watanuki as his body was only a mere inch away from his'. The heat began to intensify as well as the friction between the two as Watanuki had to swallow hard. Doumeki's grin grew a bit wider as he traced a finger along Watanuki's unexposed skin. What lied under the school uniform was a thing figure to drive few wild into a state of euphoria or so Doumeki had concluded. Going downward more, Watanuki's heart rapidly increased in beating as if he would die at that moment. No one ever touched him like this, no one; a surge of despite began to well up inside him as he bit his lip hard.

"DOUMEKI WHAT ARE YOU-"

"Ssh. I love it when you spazz but...I need silence for this," Doumeki spoke with a voice that sent chills through Watanuki but at the same time caused shivers to dance along his spinal cord. It was terrifying but comforting as he felt his back stick to the wall like paper and glue, good Kami above what was this? It felt so good, so right yet so wrong- how did he know how to do these things? How to drive a person mad with such euphoria, such desire, such- it all stopped as he felt Doumeki's fingers press hard to Watanuki's abdomen. With this, Watanuki allowed a subtle moan to escape and Doumeki to stroke the unexposed flesh gently with a slight aggression that hungered for him. Him and only him, he was a victim to his frienemy as his heart banged madly against his ribs like a new prisoner in a cell. The stroking became an addiction to Watanuki as his body leaned into Doumeki's hand. Why had instinct betrayed him yet portrayed what he needed? Why was he acting this way? It was intoxicating as the moan grew a bit louder which caused Doumeki to pull back and stand before him.

So many questions, so little time. Why? Why did he do it? Why did he cause him such pleasure in such a few moments that seemed to last a lifetime? How did he do it? Why would he do it? It was all broken by the laugh of Doumeki which was creepily sexy or so Watanuki thought as he felt his knees weaken quickly. There was no possible way he could stand, not by the way Doumeki appeared in actions and words before him. What had once been seen as a stoic archer had instantly been transformed into a subtle lover who knew how to satisfy. So good. So freaking good. But how!? The reasons returned again more confusing and quicker than ever. What did Watanuki now feel for his frienemy? Why did he feel it? Was it just for the physical satisfaction? Why did Doumeki even start this? It was all broken as Doumeki kissed Watanuki's cheek as a sudden euphoria overwhelmed him as he had to hold his body up from sinking to the pavement.

"See you in school," Doumeki spoke to break the air as he cupped Watanuki's faint blushing face and planted a simple yet sexy kiss on his boyish gentle lips. So warm. He wanted his kiss, he wanted his touch- it was a drug, a unique supply of cocaine that he needed, but was it to satisfy or be of love? No one knew this, not even Watanuki as he fell to the ground with half lidded eyes that watched Doumeki walk away as if it never happened.


	2. Locker Room Meetings

Once again it was the end of Gym class as the divided classes returned to their locker rooms, Watanuki seemed to run like lightening just to get changed and head over to Yuuko's. Yesterday was a mere memory as the question of Watanuki's sexuality wracked him the entire night. Did he really like Himawari? And what about Doumeki? Was there more than met the eye? Did he favor him more as well as his gend- Watanuki had to mentally slap himself as he quickly slipped into his pants. Good, Doumeki was nowhere in sight. Maybe he was sucking up to the damn teacher again that lousy little- there it was! There were the original feelings Watanuki felt for Doumeki: the anger, the slight hatred, the despising of him; yesterday was nothing, nothing at all and yet it hurt Watanuki to think that let alone acknowledge his original feelings for Doumeki. Why it mentally hurt him, Watanuki had no idea.

Sighing to himself, Watanuki he threw his shirt on, grabbed his belongings, and left the locker room. Let's see, Yuuko told him to pick up dinner for them tonight as he knew where to go. As he went for his locker in the hallway he stopped himself. Shit! He forgot his Gym clothes! Double shit, Doumeki was probably entering the Gym locker room now - unless he could beat him there! Yes, that would be it! After all, Watanuki was a good runner and he knew he could easily get in and then out, perfect; Doumeki wouldn't even know he was there.

Grinning now, Watanuki bolted for it like lightening across a dark sky. He knew he could make it, just a few more corners, he'd be in, out, and then in the eyes of Himawari. Ah Himawari, sweet and beautiful, Himawari; she was a sight for sore eyes let alone the eyes of Kami. Watanuki's love for her could never be replaced than those supposed feelings he had for Doumeki. Damnit! Another stab to the heart, why was it hurting him to say those things about him? Had yesterday really changed everything? Watanuki didn't understand as he almost ran into a professor as he bowed in forgiveness to her and ran off once more. Damnit, Doumeki! Why was he invading Watanuki's mind? Why was even there at all?

The memories of yesterday were meaningless. Stupid, pointless, and meaningless as Watanuki entered the locker room. It was quiet - too quiet. It was eerie to Watanuki as he thought a demon would jump out at him and drag him into another world. He shuddered at this thought and swallowed hard, that was all he needed; to be unprepared and possibly devoured by a demon. Watanuki took a deep breath, he refused to allow fear get the best of him as he marched to his locker which sadly was next to Doumeki's. As Watanuki began to take his belongings from his locker he didn't take notice that Doumeki's locker still had his gym clothes inside. Watanuki growled to himself at the thought of Doumeki - stupid Doumeki who lived in a stupid dojo and was a stupid, selfish-

"Hey," the voice cut through the air like a knife to butter. Watanuki turned fast to see Doumeki, already dressed and ready to leave for the day.

"GAH! DOUMEKI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"I forgot my gym clothes too," Doumeki ended his statement with a wink as he resumed to retrieve his gym clothes. Apparently he too forgot his gym clothes which seemed impossible for Doumeki to do as seeing he was smart and handso- Watanuki had to mentally slap himself. Yesterday was over, today would resume as if nothing had happened. Doumeki smirked as he watched Watanuki grab his gym clothes in a hurry and slammed the locker door shut. Watanuki started to piece this together, Doumeki did this as a trick - a trap to get him once again so that he could kiss him and do all the things Watanuki wanted him to do. Once again Watanuki had to mentally slap himself, the only thing he wanted Doumeki to do is go away and yet a part of him wished that he would make love to -

"Leaving so soon," Doumeki's voice was like that of a smooth criminal as his eyes were luminous with the faint locker room lights.

"What?"

Watanuki felt himself being thrown against the lockers as he yelped at the surprise action. "Sorry, love," Doumeki's voice was a low growl of sensuality that sent shivers down Watanuki's spine. He could feel the hair rise on his flesh and his body tense greatly as Doumeki sensed this and let out a small chuckle that emitted from his throat. More shivers, more chills, Watanuki felt like a damsel in distress but he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted this badly.

"Relax," the small laughter was broken by Doumeki's cool and crisp voice. It was also hypnotic as Watanuki felt his knees grow weak at the tone. He had to obey him, there was no point in fighting him; after all why would one fight the person that was attempting to bring pleasure? A smirk of satisfaction formed on Doumeki's face as he pressed his body to Watanuki's back and he nipped at his neck sensually like a vampire made for love. A low growlish groan came from Watanuki as the smirk grew on Doumeki's face as he lowered his hand to Watanuki's crotch. Watanuki gasped at the feeling of Doumeki's slender fingers against his covered manhood. Kami what was this feeling? What the Hell was going on?

His heart was pounding faster than all the times demons would follow him as he swallowed hard. He didn't want this yet he wanted it so bad he could taste it. Watanuki bit his lip hard as he felt Doumeki's breath snake along the skin of his nape as a small growlish groan escaped Watanuki's lips. Watanuki turned a deep red in shock as he couldn't believe he found pleasure from that. Oh good Kami, this felt so wrong but so right; it was a sin, a temptation but it was worth the want. Watanuki knew this as well as Doumeki as he ran his tongue along Watanuki's flesh before kissing up the side of his neck. Everything seemed to get hotter or so it felt to Watanuki but he wanted to drown it and allowed the dominance of Doumeki to ensue.

Doumeki left a mere kiss on the cheek and then the lips to distract Watanuki as he revealed his area and pressed it against Watanuki's unexposed arse. Watanuki gasped against the lips and groaned sexily; nothing had ever made him groan like this before. Kami, Doumeki, maybe there was more to his stoic demeanor; this was an entirely different side that Watanuki had not expected of Doumeki let alone felt. It was tantalizing and hypnotic as he was drawn into it all as sounds of pleasure escaped his lips to show he loved it all. However Watanuki wondered something: where did this come form? Had he been denying himself pleasure all this time? And what about Doumeki, how did he know how to satisfy him? Watanuki felt himself grow tense and unstable as the young archer pressed his body tightly to the small of Watanuki's back to keep him steady and to prepare him for what was next.

Doumeki became debonair yet sexually addictive in a few moments as he didn't hesitate and ripped off Watanuki's pants. This caused Watanuki to freak out some but only for a few moments before he was calmed by his own self reassurance and a sudden wanting; he wanted to be banged, he wanted to be man handled by his supposed enemy (now lover), he wanted to be vulnerable in a sexual position. It was a strange lust as well as desire but then again, seeing spirits was strange too. Watanuki didn't know how to describe it but for once he trusted Doumeki with something as serious as his life, which in this case was his virginity. He allowed his body to relax as Doumeki worried about him before he realized what Watanuki was doing; Watanuki was giving Doumeki the permission to bang his brains out. Doumeki grinned sexily at this as Watanuki saw it from the corner of his eye and died inside; Kami he was hot. Wait, what the Hell!? Where did that come from?! Doumeki could feel Watanuki tense again as he turned him fast and kissed him hard.

There was that warmth again as it coursed through Watanuki's blood and body. It filled him with a sense of need, a desire to be touched sexually by someone dominant (and sadly not Himawari), and a lingering longing lust that needed to be satisfied. His body craved the kiss and touch as Watanuki took it all in like a rose taking in the sunlight. He wanted this, needed this, craved this for Kami knew how long. Nonetheless, Watanuki's hands were unsure of where (let alone how) to position themselves on Doumeki's body as he settled for placing them on his shoulder blades. The taut, thin muscles were hidden beneath the cloth as they seemed to yearn for Watanuki's touch. Doumeki growled at Watanuki's feel upon the unexposed muscles and pressed harder to him. Watanuki groaned against Doumeki's thin lips that were passionately pressed to his own as he felt like he was drowning in him and never wanting to escape. Watanuki could feel his groin pressing to that of Doumeki's which caused him to groan louder in want and lust. Kami, he needed him and Doumeki wanted him badly.

"Do you want this," Doumeki's voice was a sexual growl of a whisper which sent shivers down Watanuki's back and caused a miniature moan to emit from his lips. Watanuki wanted nothing more than passion and so far he had received what his heart desired. To obtain more would send his heart into an overdrive of sexually driven wishes and cast his mind into a deep euphoric oblivion; but that was a risk Watanuki was willing to take. Watanuki nodded as he turned his back to Doumeki and allowed him to do as he pleased.


	3. Heartbeat

Feverish hands ran all over Watanuki's lanky frame as his own hands worked their ways around Doumeki's taut muscles and skinny figure. Lips left butterfly kisses along the collarbone, neck, and other sensitive parts of the body causing both boys to groan in lust. By now Doumeki had taken Watanuki as he pinned him tightly against the locker door and had his way with him. Watanuki's body thrust madly as Doumeki snarled sexily at that and groped his hips hard just to pin him down better. The feelings clashed of lust and love, satisfaction and confusion, wanting and needing. Watanuki could feel sparks fly along his body as if it was slowly being set ablaze. Doumeki could sense Watanuki's pleasure as well as his own and resumed onward with his manic thrusting. Hormones and emotions rushed endlessly through their teenage bodies as both grew insane within. Passions were being released in ways they never thought possible in all of the most unlikely places: the gym locker room.

By now the lights had dimmed and the scent of masculinity (in the forms of body sprays, cologne, and sweat) cloaked every inch of the room. No other sounds were made aside from flesh striking flesh and moans of ecstasy. From time to time the sound of rapid heartbeats could be heard as the vital organ pulsed madly within the teenagers' chests. However, they didn't seem to notice as Doumeki became relentless in his sexual art of pleasing Watanuki. By now his slender fingers had wrapped themselves around Watanuki's erect member causing the recessive teenager to groan and growl in desire. Watanuki wanted it, craved it, needed it, but couldn't understand why. He had loathed Doumeki until yesterday when he had kissed him in front of the shop. Did that kiss do something? Did it awaken things Watanuki never knew could exist? Did it change his mind about Doumeki? What did it do? In life there is no coincidence, everything is bound to happen by fate. It was something Yuuko had told Watanuki and Doumeki or something along those lines. Was this to happen? Was Doumeki to take Watanuki and fill him with desire and release hidden passions? Was this supposed to happen? Or had Doumeki found a way to break fate and take matters into his own hands? How would he do it? How did he do it?

The questions were broken by a long moan of lust that emitted from Watanuki's lips. Doumeki snarled at it as he felt a new moist spot grow amongst his hand. Good God, Watanuki - the ejaculation, the sounds of pleasure, they all spurred Doumeki to move harder and faster within Watanuki. Doumeki did so causing their hearts to beat faster, the pleasure to be craved as it came more, and time to stop or so it seemed. Watanuki shivered at Doumeki's lips as they trailed along the nape and collarbone as he emitted more moans of want. A few times Doumeki hit Watanuki's prostate which caused his moans to turn into yells of lustful ecstasy. This satisfied Doumeki as he resumed to go harder with speed until he was spent and gave out in a matter of moments.

Both boys panted as sweat tainted their youthful flesh. Watanuki's fingers gripped the nearest locker door in fear he may lose his balance. Doumeki felt himself sink to the floor only to grab a bench next to the lockers and sit himself down on it. Virginity had been taken like savage beasts in nature and the result was mere satisfaction twined with confusion. Both felt this as their heartbeats seemed to reverberate within the room. Watanuki was satisfied with the feeling of being taken sexually like that, it was a thrill, something he hadn't felt before; it was new to him and he craved it more than he craved anything else except...Himawari! God if she came in now and saw this, she'd be devastated and hurt and confused just like he was! Watanuki loved her and now Doumeki had to turn around and literally screw him! What was happening? What was Watanuki feeling for Doumeki? Was he attracted to him now more than Himawari? What the Hell was going on!?

"Hey, are you ok," Doumeki's slightly smooth and ragged voice broke through Watanuki's train of thought. He was feeling satisfied, satisfied that he conveyed his secret emotions to Watanuki through the art of sex. It was just as he planned it, a little too strong maybe, but it was better than rejection by asking him out on a date. Plus Watanuki didn't seem to mind the little sexual contact; it looked like he was satisfied as well but at the same puzzled by his emotions. Doumeki couldn't blame him, he knew how much Watanuki loved Himawari but there was only so much the girl could offer him compared to what Doumeki had. Doumeki had a closer bond to him spiritually plus he had seen him more as opposed to the times Watanuki had been with Himawari.

"I...I don't know," Watanuki's voice was broken by pants and emotion. Sliding down a bit to the floor, Watanuki bowed his head as he stayed close to the lockers. His hair was now unkept as his eyes were shadowed by the ebony strands. It made him look mysterious for a moment which attracted Doumeki to him more than what he was now. Nonetheless, Doumeki's eyes never left Watanuki as concern flickered in his eyes.

"Hm?"

"Just...just...why did you do this? Why did you screw me?! I..I don't know what to feel, what to do, what to say, I don't know!"

Doumeki noticed that Watanuki had started to freak out a bit as his body jerked some. He couldn't blame him as he zipped up his pants and walk over to Watanuki. Kneeling down to his height, Doumeki took Watanuki from behind into an emotional embrace. Watanuki didn't struggle let alone break from the embrace but leaned into it. Kissing his matted ebony hair Watanuki bit his lip as he tried to suppress the urge to turn around and bury his head into Doumeki's chest. Watanuki couldn't face him, not with what he was feeling but at the same time he wanted to be close as humanly possible to him. The warmth of Doumeki's body, his cool demeanor, his sexuality - it was a slight addiction to Watanuki. Yet the thoughts of Himawari lingered in his head as Doumeki held him closer to his chest as his heartbeat calmed Watanuki down a bit. It was a morbid lullaby but somehow it soothed him a bit. The thoughts of Himawari drifted and returned in those few moments before Doumeki's heartbeat became a medley of emotion in his head. Doumeki smirked into the matted mass of Watanuki's hair before he spoke again in a collectedly cool tone.

"Say you'll be mine."

"Doumeki...," The words shocked Watanuki to every extremity that was him but at the same time the words thrilled him with every pronounced syllable. Watanuki's voice was weak and filled with emotion as he spoke Doumeki's name. Doumeki. Dou-me-ki. Three syllables, one man, it was strange, but amazing. How Doumeki said those four words to him in that cool unadulterated tone, it was enough to make one weak at the knees and fall head over heels for an archer. Watanuki gave in to temptation and turned, burying his head into Doumeki's chest. He could hear his heart better, the strange lullaby, the notes rang in his head, and formed into music. Music only Watanuki could hear unless someone else had this chance to be close to the heart. But who would ever get this close to an archer's heart aside from him? It calmed Watanuki a bit as he closed his eyes some, not for sleep but to take it all in: sex and then to lie in the arms of a man he once hated but now, had he grown to love him? Watanuki was unsure as his mind pulsated like his own heart. Hear to heart, their hearts were close to each other yet only a bit distant. Doumeki was a bit stunned at Watanuki's action and smirked still as he stroked Watanuki's back. He had given in to temptation three times: yesterday, the sex, and now this. Doumeki watched Watanuki, the victim of spirits, the boy he had secretly crushed now breathing against his chest. His breathing was gentle, just like him as it caused Doumeki to smile faintly. Leaning down some Doumeki whispered in his cool, untouched tone in a more soothing way.

"Say you'll be mine...and love me as I love you."


	4. Enter the Shop

"You're late," Yuuko's voice broke from the depths of the shop as it welcomed Watanuki with a cold, careless feeling that sent shivers down his spine. He slipped his shoes off and shuddered with every syllable she spoke somewhere in the shop. 

The scent of sake and incense lingered in the air; it was a sickening sweet strange mix of a smell, but it didn't bother Watanuki as much as when he first started out. He brushed the scent off as his mind focused on more important matters such as Doumeki; the man who wanted Watanuki for his own to love, to pleasure, and to be with forever.

It was still a shocker to Watanuki in regards to what he had just done let alone the fact that Doumeki had been in love with him all this time. He never saw it coming and he started to wonder if Yuuko ever had a premonition of Doumeki and Watanuki in the passionate throws of love. It would be humiliating yes but still it was a matter if she had known or not and why didn't she tell him? Did she want him to find out on his own? Did Yuuko want him to get a taste of love? Or realize that maybe Himawari didn't love him but someone else did?

"Watanuki, you're late! Watanuki,you're late," Maru and Moro chimed together like two hyperactive songbirds as they rushed to his side chanting those three words. Watanuki brushed them off as well as he stepped forward and began his trek into the shop. 

He didn't noticed he was limping and yet he winced some from the recent intercourse. For a moment he cursed himself for being the recessive one in the sexual activity,but bit his lip. It felt good yet painful as started to wonder if he was the type of man who would enjoy pleasure and pain? They always did say the quiet ones were the the while Maru and Moro followed and surrounded Watanuki like lively spirits. They were wrapped up in their abyss to notice that Watanuki wasn't shouting at them or walking faster just so he could appease Yuuko with his presence. It was at then Maru shot Moro a glance and both fell quiet and noticed Watanuki's walking. The air grew tense as Watanuki gripped the wall. His arse was sore as Hell as he cried out in pain from it. Watanuki almost fell to his knees from it but was able to grab himself as he hissed a bit in pain.

"Watanuki, is something wrong?"

"Something wrong with Watanuki?"

He didn't answer. His thoughts wrapped around him like a serpent suffocating its' prey. Why had Doumeki done this? Couldn't he see that Watanuki's one true love was Himawari? Or wasn't she? Maybe Watanuki was actually homosexual or bisexual? This was all confusing for the teenager, especially at his age. This was the time of self-discovery or at least the start of it and the recent intercourse just made matters worse for him. Watanuki's mind wracked with questions about himself as well as Doumeki. Had Doumeki truly discovered himself and understood that he was a homosexual? Or a bisexual? Doumeki didn't check out many girls, if anything they checked him out for reasons Watanuki couldn't fathom. The pain took over his form as Watanuki yelped in pain and limped once more. Maru and Moro led him to where Yuuko was located, all the while concerned for their fellow co worker. Although they were joyful a good deal of the time, they were concerned and worried about Watanuki. For he was known to the paranormal world but not known in all its' entirety just like Maru and Moro were. Nonetheless, they opened the doors to where Yuuko would be waiting for Watanuki. Watanuki attempted to stand as straight as he could but failed in the process and hunched a little.

When Yuuko was shown before Watanuki, time seemed to stop as everything fell silent to her actions. Today her slender figure was cloaked in a silky ebony robe as her cleavage showed almost as a tease to the eyes and a free spiritual release. Along the lower half of the robe were butterflies in different shades of purple. Her shaven legs peeked out underneath the robe and lied lazily along the lounge chair. The upper half of her robe was pitch black with giant lavender butterfly on her shoulders, wrists, and the left half of her chest. The scent radiating from Yuuko's body was enough to make a man fall to his knees; the scent itself was mysterious yet addictive as it emitted from her pressure points. She took in a scent of the strawberry incense only to release it from her senses as she absorbed the fragrance. Watanuki didn't seem to mind or care as he entered the room and mumbled an apology, knowing that she would accept it. Yuuko did so as she sensed that something was wrong about him and then noticed the way he walked. Watanuki was limping as she began to question the possibilities: sprained ankle, twisted ankle, as for a moment she thought of rape or wanted anal sex. It stunned Yuuko for a minute to think that Watanuki would want it as she began to question the thought of rape. Watanuki was the innocent type and it was most likely that the innocent ones often took the beating or whatnot. But even so, would Watanuki want anal intercourse and with who? No, wait, surely not Doume-

"Watanuki, did something happen to you today," Yuuko' voice cut through the tension and silence as Watanuki stood dead in his tracks. 

His ebony strands moved with his head as he looked up and met eye contact with Yuuko. Eyes were the gateways to the soul or so Yuuko was told and Watanuki believed. For a moment, Yuuko saw into Watanuki's soul to see a child in distress, a confused boy who was lost on his path, and above all a lustrous monster of teenage hormones. She attempted to add it all together as the conclusion was either rape or lustful sex. Her mind began to question these two possibilities as her attention was once again brought back to the teenage boy. Watanuki's body tensed as he fell to his knees, his arse was hurting still from the sex as he hissed silently in pain. Yuuko stood as Mokona walked into the room bearing all smiles before he stopped and watched Watanuki. The tiny creature understood the tension and for a moment became fearful of it as he hid under Yuuko's lounge chair. Maru and Moro backed away from the room, in fear that they were about to become engulfed in the tension. Through the silent still air and the broken tension, there was one word uttered that had three syllables that rang out with every tone emerged from Watanuki's throat. His eyes were clamped shut and his teeth were gritted but even so one word was heard through the pain and confusion lingering on the inside.

"Doumeki."

It was all he said. The one word, one named man who recently took his virginity like taking candy from a baby. Watanuki looked up some as Yuuko stared back a bit in dulled shock. It was clear to her now. Watanuki and Doumeki had intercourse for the first times in their lives. They were curious and possibly in love. They wanted to know what it felt like, to do it with another person of their gender. This was normal for them, let alone any teenager of this age. Even though she would of preferred it if they had read up on male intercourse before actually attempting it. Nonetheless, it was their lives and their choices to do as they pleased. Yuuko slowly walked to Watanuki and knelt before him. She stared at him with a slight coldness in her eyes before it died like a fire and was replaced by gentleness. A slight smirk grew on her face, not in satisfaction or joy that Watanuki was hurt, but by the fact that his sexual curiosity was appeased for now. He now knew the result of lustful sex, but now the matter was: if he loved Doumeki, would he do it again?

"Maru, Moro...get me peppermint tea and the orange bottle in my room," her voice was cold but caring as she watched her servants reply with a simple 'kay' and leave. 

They ran off like children at the beach which made her smile some. Mokona ran off to fix the spare room Yuuko had for Watanuki, even though it was probably fixed already. Yuuko smirked softly and helped Watanuki to his feet as she walked him to his spare room in the shop. They both knew that the peppermint tea would help calm Watanuki's nerves (which he greatly needed) but outside that, Watanuki began to wonder about the contents of the orange bottle? Would it help? What was in it to begin with? He hadn't even seen the bottle yet and here he was asking questions of it! Watanuki stopped his questioning as he felt another surge of pain.

"But...you want me to work or..," Watanuki's voice was broken as he tried to pull away from her and run off into the kitchen to make something for her as always. 

Yuuko stopped him and gently pulled Watanuki to her figure once more. She wouldn't let him work today, not after his sexual ordeal as well as the mental pain he felt from it. To not work was the consequence of it all as Yuuko didn't mind. Maru and Moro could handle the work; there wasn't much to be done anyway just some cleaning to do. As for dinner, Yuuko would order out or something of the sort.

"No. Not today. There's not much work to be done anyway," Yuuko's voice was reassuring and calming as the cold tension from it seemed to vanish. 

Watanuki felt himself a bit at ease despite the fact that his mind was still whirling with unanswered questions. He felt himself giving into the sea of questions that overwhelmed his brain as his vision began to blur. He didn't need to switch into pajamas and didn't care if he did or not. Shaking off his blurriness, he attempted to stay awake for a few moments as Yuuko was given the peppermint tea in a intricately detailed porcelain tea cup. Watanuki smiled on the inside, only she would have something like that. Then again, this was a shop of randomness as he watched her slip an orchid liquid into the peppermint tea. Once it was in the tea, the colored liquid swirled like milk in coffee before dissolving into the tea.

"What's...that...," Watanuki asked, his voice weakening from the stress of the day and his exhaustion. He sat up to the best of his ability, his eyes never leaving Yuuko's figure. He winced greatly, feeling the pain from his arse shoot up along his spinal cord like a bolt of lightening.

"It's Aliibetra," Yuuko spoke gently as she handed the tea to Watanuki. 

"It's supposed to help with any pains you have."

As Watanuki sipped the tea, he did his best not to cringe. The tea (when added with the Aliibetra) tasted like pea soup mixed with something rather putrid. Nonetheless, if it was to help calm his nerves and end the pain then he would drink it. Watanuki swallowed the tea as he resumed to drink it in a polite manner despite his hurried sips in hopes the pain would quickly. Yuuko watched Watanuki the entire time until the tea was all gone from the cup. Taking the cup from him, Watanuki slipped under the covers of his bed. Perhaps some sleep would do him good and take his mind off of the previous sexual contact. Yuuko figured the same thing as she slowly left Watanuki's side and quietly left the room. No sooner she turned the lights out, Watanuki's eyes were closed and he was fast asleep.


	5. A Sea of Revelations

Yuuko had insisted that Watanuki take a few days off from school to reflect upon his emotions and allow himself to fully heal. Initially Watanuki protested, claiming that he had to see Himawari and be consistent in his work and attendance. However, as he slowly rose to stand, he could still feel his lower back uncomfortably tingle with pain. Sitting all day and even walking would place him in a state of discomfort. Watanuki knew other students, especially his crush would pick up on his pained state. He would then have to lie or make some excuse, which he was accustomed to before, but now, it just seemed so much different. Writing off a sex cramp wasn’t the easiest thing to do and though he could have easily said he sprained it while working, it just wouldn’t feel right. For some strange reason or another, Watanuki couldn’t bring himself to lie about sex or what had happened and its after effects. He could even hear Doumeki’s words lingering in his head of love and promises. Maybe missing school for a few days wouldn’t be so bad. Sighing to himself, Watanuki knew that maybe it was for the best. Gritting his teeth, Watanuki acknowledged that the tea Yuuko had given him only relieved so much of the pain. Sighing in defeat, he eased himself into his bed where he quickly returned to sleep. 

From the doorway, Yuuko smiled having gotten what she wanted. She had cared for Watanuki like her own son and despite his stubbornness she knew how to convince him into the better choice. When he didn’t listen to her, she was there for him whenever he found himself stuck in an unshakable web. But here was a web that she could only eliminate to some extent. Yuuko had managed to alleviate most of the ache, but the rest relied on Watanuki’s body. He was young and healthy, so he would heal rather easily or so she had hoped. Quietly closing the door, Yuuko roamed to the kitchen. It was morning, the perfect time for tea. She wouldn’t force Watanuki to work or do anything she asked. Rather, she would rely on Maru and Moru and Mokona to help her with anything while handling most tasks herself.

Getting the water ready, Yuuko’s eyes fell across the cannisters of loose tea that stood on the counter top like soldiers in line. What was a good tea to think over and ponder the details of Watanuki’s situation. Her eyes scanned the various cans of loose leaf tea, each one bearing a distinct name in neat calligraphy. Fingertips graced each can as though they were made of snowflakes. She wanted something simple so that she could focus on her thoughts better all the while enjoying a good brew. Yuuko’s index finger rested on a simple blend of black tea leaves and early grey just as the water finished heating up. While preparing her drink, she could feel thoughts tugging on her body like children trying to attract their parents’ attention. Smiling softly, Yuuko did not allow herself to immediately be drawn to them and distracted from her cup. Brewing tea was an art; it could instantly be murdered or improved. Her fingers lingered on the spoon, each stir breaking the thoughts from her mind. 

Like shadows creeping onto her shoulders, Yuuko sauntered her way into her relaxation room. The lounge chair waited for her like a throne to the highest of queens. Smirking softly, she took every single second to make herself comfortable. Yuuko never allowed anything to dominate her, rather, she dominated it. She was a woman who took nothing from no one because she knew the consequences and that these particular thoughts in her head were to be examined with utmost care. Sinking into her cushioned chair, the scent of faint incense wafted throughout the room as she inhaled its lingering smell of sandalwood and coconut. Sooner or later she would have Maru and Moru re-ignite the burner and refresh those scents. For now the scent of her morning tea consumed her mind and body as the first sip made her even more relaxed. Only then, did she allow the shadows to brew in her brain. 

Yuuko was not naïve in regard to sex. She had known about the human body, mind, and soul; she knew the stress each one could withstand and their outcomes. She had learned about them and their reactions through many years of her work and at times, some supernatural sexual cases did arise. They were rare occurrences, but through them she learned how everything worked in a greater detail. While Yuuko had never sexually pleasured a man or received intercourse as Watanuki did, she imagined any pain he endured. She figured his sexual encounter with Doumeki was rough (especially for the first time). From what her mind allowed her to piece together and from what she had known about the two boys, she wondered why exactly they had engaged in sex. They were of that age when experimentation was common and it wouldn’t surprise her if both of them were curious. Curiosity killed the cat after all.

Another sip and more thoughts brewed, enticed to distract her from her calming beverage. Watanuki was not the type to use another person for sex and if that was the case, he would have deflowered Himawari by now. He could be the complete opposite of who he was: inconsiderate of others’ feelings, having no remorse, and basically, inhuman. Watanuki was not that sort of man nor would he ever be and Yuuko knew that just like her tea was delicious. Now that she thought of Himawari though, would he tell her about his experience? Watanuki was an honest man, but he knew that there were some things that one should never speak of. However, if he wanted a relationship with her, then it would be best for him to tell her everything. To be in a relationship meant that you were to bear your soul to someone you loved dearly and trusted without hesitation. Himawari and Watanuki had known each other for a great period of time and had already established trust. And yet, this news of him and Doumeki engaging in intercourse could very well easily break her heart and allow her thoughts of Watanuki to shift. Maybe he was bisexual and/or homosexual and it would eliminate some chance of her being with him. Could Watanuki bring himself to do that though? 

After all, despite the man’s honesty his unparalleled want to be with Himawari outshone the Sun. To throw almost everything away for the sake of this new path, to almost abandon any feelings he had for Himawari, to see her broken and not only destroy her, but himself as well. Could he bring himself to do that? Yuuko knew the man had detached himself from his past and knew how to move on with things given some time. Yet the man had loved Himawari dearly for years, long before Doumeki arose and changed his life. Though if he did leave Himawari would he run to Doumeki for comfort and support? Would he be reassured by Doumeki and stay by his side? 

Yuuko sighed, oh the troubles of a recently deflowered teenage boy. Looking up from her morning tea, she could feel the shadows die within her mind. Each one exposed to her logic and the full burst of sunlight penetrating the room. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At school, Himawari was taking advantage of the lovely afternoon and eating her lunch. The sun slipped through the trees above her head, casting pale light on her bento box filled with an adorably designed lunch. Rice balls in the shapes of kittens and hearts, sashimi, sausage in the shape of octopi, bits of ham formed into hearts and stars; it all welcomed her and her growling stomach. A soft smile surfaced on her gentle face as she took a sip of her water and proceeded to eat.

Doumeki and Watanuki hadn’t joined her for lunch, which she found rather odd. But perhaps, they had things to tend to which was understandable. Come to think of it though, she hadn’t seen Watanuki all day and with that realization her heart trembled. Capturing an octopus sausage between her chopsticks, she gazed at it for a moment. Watanuki had never missed a day of school, he was punctual and a hard worker which attracted Himawari like a bee to a hive. What happened to him though, she now wondered. He seemed fine yesterday and didn’t appear to be sick or anything, which made the situation all the more stranger. 

“Hey.”

“Oh hey, Mitshura.” 

Mitshura was a fellow classmate who often partnered with Himawari in group projects. She didn’t socialize outside school much which made Himawari believe she was studious and enjoyed spending time with her family. She had transferred not too long ago from Niigata and was adjusting to her new life. 

Taking a seat next to the lady with the dark pigtails, Mitshura brushed her soft blonde hair back behind her ear. Stealing one of the sausages, she chewed to try and ignore the news she had to tell Himawari. It wouldn’t be easy as seeing Himawari talked about Watanuki constantly and it was obvious that she liked him. Why either one hadn’t made a move yet was beyond Mitshura, but that wasn’t in her control. But to inform her friend of something rather dire was in her command. 

Swallowing hard, she figured it was now or never as she felt her nerves tremble. Uncertain of how Himawari would take this news, she figured that like any other girl in her situation, she would be devastated. She might also hate her for this, but it had to be seen.

“So….you’re friends with Watanuki and Doumeki, right?”

“Yep. I know Doumeki is here today, though I’m not sure where Watanuk is. I haven’t seen him all day and I asked Doumeki who doesn’t know either. Have you seen him by any chance?”

“I think I might have an idea where he is,” reaching into her purse, she pulled out a phone.

With a few presses of her fingers, she brought up a screen with a faint image. Sighing to herself, she hated to do this, but it had to be done. Hitting the play button, she handed the phone to Himawari who took the device as though it were made of glass. Still chewing on a ball of rice, Himawari squinted at the screen, attempting to make out the fuzzy image. It looked like someone smashed peaches all over the screen and the blobs were thrusting rather sharply. 

“Look at what someone caught in our locker room.”

The image suddenly became clear enough for Himawari to stop chewing. Eyes widening with every detail coming into focus, her brain was stunned into silence. Watanuki was gripping the locker for support as Doumeki’s face came into light. Gritted teeth, eyes closed as he gasped out breaths of pleasure, he thrust wildly into Watanuki who took it without hesitation. His cheeks, no, his entire body was blushing as though someone tinted him a soft, carnation pink.

Himawari’s head swam like she was trying to escape a flood of questions that crashed down on her. How long did he feel this way, how long was this going on, why did he do this, how could she ever view her two closest friends in the same light as she did before? Her stomach grew sick from the sudden bombardment of questions as her fingers trembled like she was holding a time bomb. Even Watanuki and Doumeki’s groans and grunts were making her shrink into a corner of confusion. She had never heard those noises come from them before and while it sickened her stomach, it thrilled her heart. Her beat cried in her ears, the ocean’s roar, as she swallowed hard and slunk against the base of the tree. 

“N-no…it…it can’t be.” 

Himawari swore Watanuki was madly in love with her. Himawari could see it in how he held doors for her, offered to carry her books, did all the things a gentleman would do. It was so obvious to her or had she misread the signs; she was unsure.   
“Y-yeah….,” Mitshura watched her friend crumble like a pillar of salt. 

She watched Himawari’s mind explode by the way her face contorted into a climatic state of shock and horror. Bursting from the inside out, each sound made her jaw and eyes stretch until they could extend no more. It was though she was possessed by some internal explosion that would take years to repair. She would need a master handy man to go in, undo the damage, and reset her system until she was able to function in society once more. Or she could possibly repair herself given the time; Mitshura knew Himawari was a strong woman despite her graceful, gentle nature.

The video concluded with a soft click and the resounding silence that emerged from the phone. With this silence came an unnerving tension sparked by the uncertainty of what would happen next. Himawari lied against the bark, waiting for the tree to consume her, and take her away from this reality. Yet no such thing occurred, even as she slowly came to her senses. It seemed like hours passed by the two ladies, lunch time winding down, and bugs eyeing Himawari’s delicious bento box. Time was still, but through its quietness Himawari’s heart could be heard pounding, calling her back into the real world. With every beat, her jaw slowly retracted, her internal ocean coming to a calm. Questions drifting to the farthest of deep sea chasms, still ringing in Himawari’s ears; they would be unanswered for God knew how long. Her heart attempted to quell them with its lone, tense beat, but they somehow slipped through the cracks even while drowning. Himawari’s eyes slowly reduced to normal size as Mitshura breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s been posted all over the school. Surprised you haven’t seen it yet.”

“You gonna be k?”

“Mitshura,” Himawari’s brain forgot every word she had ever learned up to this point. The only terms that emerged were ’Watanuki,’’Doumeki,’’sex,’ ‘video,’ ‘school,’ and ‘Mitshura’. 

Those terms culminated with the dying questions as Himawari swallowed hard, trying to recollect herself and her thoughts. Her stomach roared, settling her back into reality. Mitshura was beside her, watching her with concern flashing in her eyes like neon LasVegas lights. In Himawari’s head she slightly hated her for showing her the video, but at the same time she acknowledged that she was looking out for her. Both knew how Himawari felt towards Watanuki and how that someday, sooner or later, she would gather the strength and tell him everything. But now, now those feelings seemed to be lost in a sea of confusion and uncertainty. 

Himawari would have to talk to him no sooner he returned to school.


	6. Sankaku Kankei

On the night before Watanuki returned to school, Yuuko retrieved something from the storage room that would help him decide who to love. It had been years since it had been put to use and Yuuko believed that if Watanuki was still captured within the web of uncertainty, that this would break him from that situation. 

By now, Watanuki was able to walk and had irritably mumbled that he should have gone to school throughout the day. Yuuko refused to let him go though, knowing that she needed to help him with Doumeki and Himawari. His friendships with Doumeki and Himawari rested in the balance and only he could decide where they would go. To pursue a relationship with Doumeki would break Himawari’s heart and possibly end his friendship with her. If he shunned Doumeki’s feelings and pursued Himawari, he would lose a good friend in the process. But how Watanuki could deny or ignore what had happened between him and Doumeki would take a great deal of courage and self-assurance. To even ignore his original feelings for Himawari would take the same ounce of strength, if not more. 

Watanuki hadn’t spoke of what he had decided to do, still wrestling with the possible outcomes and the hurt of emotions of both his secret sweetheart and his newfound feelings for Doumeki. He already knew what he thought of Himawari, that she was the Goddess of his heart and the wonder of his world. Doumeki though, well, he didn’t know want to think. At first he detested the man through and through, tolerating him just to see Himawari smile. But now Watanuki sat on the edge of his bed, Doumeki’s words still ringing in his ears and his heart still tingling from the primal act and the realization that maybe he didn’t abhor Doumeki much or at all.

Removing his glasses, Watanuki rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. He was always certain of himself, who he loved, who he wanted to be with. But now the fog in his head rolled with questions and recalling past times; perhaps he had missed a sign from Himawari that she wasn’t interested in him or a sign from Doumeki that he was interested in more than just friendship. Watanuki was good at reading people based on their spirits and auras, but for once in his life he found himself completely and utterly confused. Frustrated, his mind exploded with questions that burned any sense of logic left in his skull and eliminated any chance for simplicity. 

His thoughts were quelled by the opening of his door. Looking up he was met with the bold blur that was Yuuko, clad in a ravishing red garment that tightly clung to her frame. Slender, ivory legs emerged from the side slits of the dress as her long hair surrounded her. Nimble fingers held something wooden, but he couldn’t discern what that object was. In Watanuki’s blotchy vision she looked like a female incarnate of the Devil, but knew she was much kinder. Returning his glasses to his face, Watanuki watched as she sauntered her way over to him. She even had the walk of the Devil down to the sway as she sat beside him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thanks.” 

“Watanuki, this is a sankaku kankei.” 

Running her hand over the wooden object she held, she brought it into Watanuki’s view. Moonlight shone down on the item, making it appear much older than what it already was. At first Watanuki thought that the sankaku kankei was a wooden slice of pizza before examining it more closely. Brushing her fingertips along the edge, Yuuko solemnly stared at the object. It was a smooth, triangle board with three major dips in each point. Faded kanji rested in the middle of indented lines that connected the dips together. What it said Watanuki was uncertain of, it was too old to make out. 

“A love triangle?”

Yuuko nodded. 

“It helps those who are indecisive of their love life. I’m going to need something of yours, Himawari’s, and Doumeki’s. I’ll be waiting in the back.”

Nodding, Watanuki had trusted Yuuko many times before regarding different matters and he knew that it was best not to ask, but act. Retreating to his room, he searched for what Yuuko desired. For himself, he figured he would use one of his pens from school and checked that item off his mental list. It didn’t take long for him to find something of Himawari’s. An ivory handkerchief draped over his jacket pocket, feeling the lace trim Watanuki smiled to himself. She had let him borrow this piece of cloth a few days ago when he had accidentally spilled something on his shirt. She didn’t mind that he had it and Watanuki took this as a sign that she wanted him to have it because she secretly liked him. He even offered to return it, but she merely declined and said that he could have it. Little pastel butterflies lined the lace trim as he hung his heavy head, finding it completely amazing that life could instantly transform from simple to complex in a matter of time. Another item checked off the mental list, another second closer to certainty. 

Watanuki had nothing of Doumeki’s. There were no borrowed items, no gifts, no – wait a minute. Maru had helped Yuuko with the laundry which included Watanuki’s school uniform. A folded school shirt rested on a chair near his bed as he stared at it like the ghost of an unborn child. It was strange and haunting and made Watanuki feel like a thousand hands were roaming all over his body. He loved those hands, he loved what they did, he loved how they made him feel. He couldn’t shake their memory and Doumeki’s voice rang out in his head twice as strong as though he were standing before Watanuki with that come hither smile and those concerning eyes. Those eyes that knew how to make Watanuki’s knees wobble and weary, forcing him to grip the locker for balance. Those powerful, sensuous, caring eyes that he couldn’t tear from his head. The damn locker room entered his mind and from it he recalled every single detail. Their heated pants, that animal thrust, the hungry groans, everything played in his head as though it was happening before his eyes. Even as he stood in his bedroom, Watanuki could feel his heart racing like a thousand lightning horses coursing through his veins. He swore his palms grew sweaty as the memory rolled on, the moans echoing in his mind, and making his throat run dry. Damnit Doumeki, why did you have to make everything so complicated?

He came to his senses when Mokona climbed onto the uniform. Mokona wasn’t there in that memory and the mere sight of the creature brought Watanuki to his senses. Mokona smiled at him as if he was reading Watanuki’s mind and he knew what exactly the boy was thinking. There were tons of mysteries surrounding Mokona that Watanuki always wondered; why exactly was Mokona, where did they come from, how could take in such large puffs of air, why-

Mokona tossed the uniform shirt at Watanuki as it landed on his face. Despite the laundry eliminating anything of Doumeki or Watanuki, he could still smell Doumeki. It was a combination of old parchment from the temple and some cologne Watanuki probably never heard of. Both culminated into a musk that made Watanuki’s heart stop beating and absorb like a flower. His mind fed off that distinct smell like the sun and he couldn’t stop himself from burying his face into his uniform. It almost smelled sweeter than Himawari’s perfume.

“Yuuko’s waiting,” Mokona spoke and smirked, knowing how Watanuki would respond.

“Yeah, well I figured that!”

He couldn’t keep everyone waiting; even his brain seemed to urge him forward. Watanuki knew that the time was now to know the truth of his heart, where his emotions really rested, and how it would affect the days to come. Taking a deep breath, Watanuki led Mokona out of his room and to where Yuuko awaited them. 

Ignited by candlelight, the room was draped with lush grape shaded fabric. The soft, calming smell of sandalwood incense rose from some unknown holder. Watanuki breathed the scent in, attempting to silence any other thoughts that throbbed in his head. Each question or memory that tried to surface was drowned in the peaceful tranquility the incense had to offer as Watanuki felt his shoulders relax. He could even feel his heart lessen its beats into a steady, slow hum that tapped his chest. Yuuko sense his tranquil aura and smiled to herself. Tea cups rested at her wrists, filled with an aromatic yet soothing tea should Watanuki want anything to drink. Orange peels sunk in the brew as their distinct scent merged with the incense and wafted throughout the room. It was an acidic smell to those who never had orange peels in their tea, but to Watanuki it was rather calming. Taking a seat across from Yuuko’s luxurious lounge chair he placed the items before the sankaku kankei. 

Yuuko offered one of the tea cups to Watanuki as she assembled the items in the proper order. Watanuki’s pen laid at the most downward point. Himawari’s handkerchief rested at the upper right corner. Taking the uniform, Yuuko examined it and immediately smelled Doumeki’s musk. A culmination of lustful sex, old parchment, and whatever cologne he happened to be wearing. Smirking, she knew why Watanuki had chosen this item to represent Doumeki. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to fit the entire uniform blouse on the sankaku kankei, she took a loose thread drenched in Doumeki’s musk, and placed it in the last empty dip.

“Long ago, a prince was in love with his betrothed bride, but his emotions swayed at the sight of another woman from a different kingdom. Torn by his heart, he went to a priestess to help determine his fate. The priestess presented him with this sankaku kankei and aided him.”

“Who did he choose?”

“I can’t tell you that, it’ll ruin the end of the story,” Yuuko smiled coyly, like an all knowing cat as her eyes glistened darkly, something Watanuki was used to many times before.

The kanji in the center of the triangle seemed to grow darker, much like the rest of the room as though the sankaku kankei was draining the shop of all its energy. Watanuki’s eyes darted about the room and Yuuko did nothing but stare at him while sipping her tea. The candle’s flames flickered wildly and even the incense seemed to fade away, as though shadows were drinking its scent. From the shadowy kanji emerged a shred of dark energy that lied between Doumeki’s thread and Himawari’s handkerchief. Eyes widening, he knew he should have been used to this spiritual stuff by now, but there were still some days and nights that the otherworldly surprised him. Tonight was no exception.   
“Watch closely, Watanuki and take note of your object. Two traces of crimson energy will appear on both sides of your pen leading to Doumeki’s item and Himawari’s item. Whatever energy reaches an item first will be the person you feel the most strongly for.”

Every single thing seemed to weigh down on Watanuki’s shoulders at the moment. A mere trace of energy from an everyday object could determine his future love life and relationships. It was spellbinding, just like any other act Yuuko had performed to help people with their lives. Even simple acts that most people carried out like pinkie promises had such a deeper meaning that only Yuuko seemed to understand. How she knew all this Watanuki was never certain, but he knew by now that he should not question the strange and that there was no such thing as fate, only coincidence. With bated breath he watched as two fragments of scarlet energy appear beside his pen. Any minute they would dart forward and the winner would probably glow with a powerful, passionate light. That would be Watanuki’s beloved regardless of what his heart or head told him.

A sudden quietness shrouded the room as tension hung like spider webs sprawled out on every surface. Questions whispered in Watanuki’s ears as those memories came flooding to once more, each one met with mental shushes and unparalleled waves of wonder. Taking a sip of his tea didn’t calm him much, but it aided some as he proceeded to down it in hopes he would find relief at the bottom of the cup. When no solace was discovered, the energies shimmered brilliantly, and jolted towards the objects as fast as lightening.  
Their speed astounded Watanuki as he hurriedly abandoned his tea cup and watched them. Eyes widening, their chaotic streaks surged and bolted like an army of lightning strikes, each one more potent than the last. Thick tension weighed down Watanuki’s shoulders as he felt his arms sink onto the table, his fingertips gripping the edge. Through his shaky fingers he could feel his heart pounding as though it would leap from his chest and search for more tea to calm itself. Knowing it would find none, it rammed itself wildly against his ribcage. Even the scents in the room seemed to strengthen, suffocating Watanuki as a distraction, to lure him away from the situation at hand. But his eyes did not wander, but only widen as one lone trace of crimson energy reached an object.

Watanuki wasn’t surprised by the sudden, vibrant glow of the sankaku kankei. And neither was Yuuko.


	7. Reaching Reason

On the morning of his first day back, Watanuki was met with whispers from surrounding classmates. Each hushed voice seemed to grow louder than the last as the students’ eyes darted between him and their friends. Furrowing his brow, Watanuki slowed his steps, watching the students around him. Their eyes never left him and their mouths never stopped moving. He couldn’t see any spirits that could possibly be causing this strange activity among the students as he shrugged it off. Maybe something really big had happened while he was off for the few days. Though come to think of it, Watanuki just realized someone should have delivered his work to him while he was away. He figured Himawari or Doumeki would have done that, but why they hadn’t he couldn’t understand. Or at least maybe someone else would have dropped off his homework, but no one ever came to. He would have to explain this situation to his teachers as he made his way into the school

Once more the endless throng of whisperers appeared before Watanuki. Each move he made was noted by their eyes and discussed with their mouths, their words merging together into an indecipherable chant. At the end of the hall stood an all too familiar feminine figure that sent chills down Watanuki’s spine. Feeling his lithe frame shiver from the sudden cold, Watanuki shook a bit in an attempt to shake it off. The shivers turned to tremors, paralyzing his bones and allowing only his eyes to move. His cobalt orbs darted left and right, seeking solace in passerbys only to find none. At the loss of any relief, his heart beat faster, the sound reverberating in his skull, and out his ears. The hall hearing his anxiety laughed at him while whispering under their breaths. Their words now escalated into loud chants, each line becoming clearer to his senses.

‘Doumeki fucked Watanuki. Doumeki fucked Watanuki. Doumeki fucked Watanuki.’

The syllables stirred his soul as he wondered how they knew about his sexy session with someone he least suspected. His mind raced with questions, each one tracing back to Doumeki’s sly smirk and soothing tone and how he passionately thrust into Watanuki’s tight ass. Each thrust was more powerful than the last, the sound of skin on skin silencing every surrounding chant. Watanuki’s cheeks reddened at the returning memories as the questions filled his head like a water behind a damn wall. With no escape in sight, his cobalt blue eyes returned to the feminine shadow that made his spine shiver. He didn’t even notice how she approached him, a maddened trait in her body that made her curvy frame rigid and her stride as straight as a soldier’s march. Staring at her, confusion and anger raged in her orbs and Watanuki couldn’t blame Himawari.

The one person in life that Watanuki never wanted to bring harm to was Himawari. He knew how feverishly his heart pounded and how whenever she spoke, his mind grew still with ease, listening to every word that fell from her lips. He clung to every single thing she ever said as though his heart was uplifted by her sentences and feelings. Her voice was the very structure of his world and it would probably implode on itself should those gentle tones ever be eliminated. Her very smile illuminated the darkness in his day. Often he would find comfort in Himawari’s smile, but today that smile was replaced with a pair of sour curled lips hiding gritting teeth. There was no joy found in her narrowed eyes either, exposing unforgiving fury that was only reserved for Watanuki. Watanuki’s heart sank at the woman he had loved so dearly, now glaring at him wondering what exactly was going through his head. 

A woman’s heart, much like any other heart, was a fickle thing. All this time she had adored him and yet, she was never sure of his emotions. Yes, he appeared to like her but never once did he come out front and confess nor did she, for that matter. Himawari needed confirmation from him and instead of receiving that, she was given a video of her two best friends going to town in a supposedly secluded locker room. Without her affirmation and with this new view of them, Himawari was thrust into a world of confusion and madness.

“Himawari,” Watanuki whispered beneath his breath and the hall fell into silence.

From her name, Himawari allowed her anger to silently engulf the hall and drown out any students that stood in their line of vision. In this moment and possibly for many more moments to arise, they were the only two people standing in the hallway. No homeroom bells rang, no teachers scolded other students, and no other classmates surrounded them. No one else’s words whispered in their ears or in the school, not even their appearances mattered to Himawari and Watanuki. Even their hearts were in sync; Himawari’s in pure, unfiltered unrequited love and anger quivering with every beat and Watanuki’s in wild confusion with reckless thrusts. Their rhapsody unfurled in the school, running wildly and clashing like beasts.

“Hima-“

“Don’t. Don’t say my name. Don’t say anything. It’s like I don’t even know you and the man I-,” she bit her tongue fiercely, her words spitting at him like sparking lightening. From her words, sparks flew, stinging Watanuki. Reeling from her demands, he rooted himself to the ground. He knew not to run; he had come this far to stand and tell her the truth.  
“I couldn’t face you after seeing the video.”

“What video?”

“You don’t…know…?”

In that moment, their hearts slowed drastically, silencing any emotion that passed through their bodies and radiating through their demeanors. Shock dominated their bodies, stretching their eyes and sinking their jaws with invisible stones. Awe stunned their hearts, quieting their beats, and forcing them to focus at something beyond their control.  
“What video?”

Watanuki’s voice was as quiet as a breeze, trying to talk through the rattling horror that tore through his body. The very idea that someone invaded their privacy and recorded something so intimate and passionate made his skin turn ghostly white.

“Someone posted a video of you and Doumeki in the locker room having –“

“H-how? No one was there with us.”

“I…I don’t know. I guess they must have slipped in.”

Thoughts ignited, how many eyes had seen Doumeki thrusting into Watanuki without abandonment and how many ears had heard their grunts and groans. Would they be suspended or expelled and if so, why were they not alerted sooner? Surely Himawari or Doumeki would have said something had either one delivered Watanuki’s work to him.

Shoulders slumped, his body weighed by his head now hanging in shame and humiliation. The anger that once shrouded Himawari was now extinguished by Watanuki’s embarrassment. Her eyes softened with empathy, her heart beating gently but sternly, sore from what she had witnessed and her feelings for Watanuki being denied. Confusion coursed through her veins, poisoning her mind and wrecking her thoughts. The man before her was probably just as confused as she was or so she suddenly realized. Yet her heart could not escape the burning anger which cooled slightly, but still wracked her body. Watching Watanuki, he slowly raised his head, eyes locked in a cloudy stalemate of self victory and self loss. He wasn’t expecting today to be filled with giggling gossipers and secret videos. Staring at Himawari, he felt the dam within him break and his world slowly begin to unravel. Once more, his quiet voice emerged from his pale lips.

“Himawari, I…Doumeki…he….he came into the locker room. He…he started it.”

“So you finished it?”

“Well…yeah. If you want to put it like that.”

“Did….did you want it?”

Watanuki had loved Himawari dearly as a friend and a secret crush. He knew this since the first day he met her. Never before had he felt or experienced anything like what he had with Doumeki or any other man. He had never considered the notion of anal sex or possibly being a homosexual before, having placed all his peaches in one pie with Himawari. He ruled out the idea of sexual exploration and homosexuality, knowing how society frowned upon such relationships. Yet, he could not deny what the sankaku kankei revealed to him. Straightening his shoulders, he sighed to himself. It wouldn’t be easy to throw out his initial idea of who he was, but at his age he could do such a thing and perhaps, it would be for the better. He was young and had many years to explore his sexuality and himself, should he so desire. He could reinvent himself until he was completely content with whom he was and by doing so, he would learn more about himself; more than he ever knew and that reassurance made him internally smile.

“Ye-“

“Maybe it would be better if you went with Doumeki.”

Himawari felt her heart sink as any emotion she had for Watanuki eroded into a void in her head. A seemingly endless black hole that slowly sapped her admiration for Watanuki. With every morsel of adoration, the chasm grew like a shadow, stretching over the functions of her mind. She had missed the ship and felt her body gradually slink in defeat. She couldn’t allow him to see her sorrow and quickly straightening herself, Himawari smiled softly. Perhaps, this would be for the better and Watanuki would be much happier which in turn, would make her happy for him.

“Er…what?”

“Well you know, you two are always acting like brothers. So it only seems right that you two are together.”

Himawari’s heart sank into the dark abyss of her brain knowing it would be useless to confess her feelings and knowing that there would be no reciprocation. If she did continue to profess her love for Watanuki in hopes to change him, she knew it would be wrong on her end and cause more heartache than she initially desired. She would need to take a break from him and Doumeki for a while. How long, she wasn’t certain, but she knew that she would want to keep her friendship with Watanuki and Doumeki. She would need some time to herself, learning how to cope with the loss of possibly close romantic relationship, and how to wrestle with the demons of unrequited love. She would also realize that life would be better if she was more straightforward in the world of dating and that maybe, she would find someone better.

“Himawari, I’m sorry, but…I do love Doumeki.”

Himawari saw the honesty in his eyes which caused the last shred of emotions for him to be swallowed in one, big gulp. She knew they would haunt her at home and make her cry in the comforting darkness of night. But like many other loves in her life, Himawari would learn to move on from them like a river rolling over rocks. Sighing deeply, she nodded and smiled softly, knowing that Watanuki would be happy and in due time, she would be too.

“Don’t be, please.” 

Her gentle voice was like a dandelion and it brought solace to Watanuki who couldn’t help but to return her smile. Her voice slipped into his ears and away into the people around them, now returning to their vision. They never left the rampant rumor runners, but that didn’t seem to change anything. Rather, it reinforced the strength in their hearts to tell the truth to a wide variety of masses while speaking only to each other. It was the spontaneity of a secret conversation among thousands of people who hungered for their words and no one else’s. Somehow, they managed to block those people from their sight and mind, only focusing on each other and the dire situation at hand. Those around them who happened to hear their conversation and take note of their actions understood the way Himawari and Watanuki left things. It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be for the better. Embracing each other for their temporarily last time, the two parted ways; Himawari having to wrestle with the internal beasts of heartbreak and Watanuki having to tango with his newfound affections for a man he never considered loving before. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, the locker room was empty. Watanuki’s eyes searched the location, finding no peeping toms or secret recorders. In the distance, he heard the soft shuffling of clothes sliding onto skin. Poking his head around a few corners, he managed to find one tall, lanky student changing in the last aisle. Smirking softly, he recognized the back of the person and began to walk towards him. Nervousness had eluded him like light to the fog since he had his conversation with Himawari and given thought about Doumeki and his future the night prior. 

He was at the age to explore and to understand who he wanted to be in life. Sexuality made up a part of him and that was something he especially wanted to get right. After all he would be spending the rest of his life someday with the man or woman he loved. Which gender would be his ultimate calling, he was unsure. But for now, Doumeki called to him as the sankaku kankei exposed, revealing the true owner of Watanuki’s heart. Watanuki accepted this, knowing full well what his heart desired and to deny such love from his heart would be the ultimate crime that he could possibly ever commit against himself. Watanuki understood his heart, knowing full well it wanted Doumeki, and all the closeness the man could offer mentally and physically. 

“What are you doing here?

“Well you found me here before, so I figured I’d find you.”

“So….what are you going to say, Watanuki? Will you be mine and love you as I do you?”

Doumeki’s answer was given in the form of Watanuki pressing his lips tightly to his’. Smiling against his lips, Doumeki pulled the skinny student close to him. Hands running up and down his back, Watanuki no longer shivered at that touch but rather did the same thing to Doumeki. They lost time in each other’s arms, as the world fell around them to reveal their own personal paradise. Time could not restrain them nor could the love in their hearts as they held each other for what seemed like hours. Only when the lights started to flicker in the locker room was it time for them to hold hands and walk through the threshold of a new future together.


End file.
